“There’s a word for it”: How Language Shapes Mindset, Emotion, and Behavior

After days of trekking through cloud forests and narrow mountain paths, I arrived at the final stretch—the long stone staircase leading up to Machu Picchu. My legs ached, my breath was shallow, and the weight of everything I had been carrying—physically and emotionally—seemed heavier than ever. But as I climbed those last ancient steps, the mist began to lift. Slowly, stone by stone, the city revealed itself.

Machu Picchu emerged not with grandeur, but with quiet presence. Moss clung to its ruins. Vines wrapped gently around weathered stones. Some walls had crumbled, others leaned with age, and all of it was softened by time. Standing there, I didn’t feel triumph. I felt awe—like I was witnessing something eternal and fragile all at once. It wasn’t pristine, but it was alive in its stillness. Beautiful not despite its decay, but because of it.

It was only years later that I came across a concept that described that feeling with uncanny precision. Surprisingly, it originated on the other side of the planet—in Japan.

Wabi-sabi is the aesthetic of imperfection, impermanence, and understated beauty. It finds grace in things that are weathered, incomplete, or quietly fading. Far from being about decay or sadness, wabi-sabi invites us to see the richness in what’s been touched by time—like stone softened by centuries of rain or a life shaped by challenge and resilience.

That day, I didn’t have the language for what I felt—but the word wabi-sabi later gave it shape. And once I started noticing how certain words could so precisely capture complex emotions or ways of being, I began to see language not just as a tool for communication, but as a lens through which we perceive the world.

Some cultures have words for experiences we might not even realize we’re missing—until we hear them.

Take the Finnish word sisu. It speaks to a kind of quiet, inner strength—a determination that carries people through hardship without complaint or fanfare. While English has words like grit, courage, or perseverance, none fully express the deep, enduring force that sisu represents. In Finland, it’s not just a trait—it’s an identity.

Or sobremesa, a Spanish word that captures the unhurried time spent at the table after a meal, savoring conversation and presence. There’s no direct equivalent in English, yet most of us know the feeling. It’s not about food—it’s about connection, the soft space between doing and simply being.

And then there’s ubuntu, a powerful term from southern Africa that means “I am because we are.” It reflects a worldview where humanity is rooted in mutual care and interdependence. It’s more than empathy—it’s a guiding principle of how to live in community.

And one of my personal favorites: Schadenfreude, a German word that means the pleasure derived from someone else’s misfortune. It names a complex, often taboo emotion we all experience but rarely admit. Without a word for it, we might deny or oversimplify what we’re feeling. Schadenfreude often coexists with guilt, relief, or even amusement. It’s not cruelty—it can be a mirror, revealing envy, insecurity, or unmet needs, and opening the door to greater self-understanding. Naming it creates space for what psychologist Lisa Feldman Barrett calls emotional granularity—the ability to recognize and articulate subtle emotions. The ability to distinguish between similar emotions like irritation, frustration, and resentment, instead of lumping them all into “I’m mad,” helps us reflect and regulate rather than react.

Each of these words opens a door—not just to cultural insight, but to inner awareness. They show how language doesn’t just describe experience. It shapes it. Linguists have long explored this idea. The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, also known as linguistic relativity, suggests that the language we speak influences how we perceive and understand everything from time and space to emotions. In other words, according to this view, language doesn’t just describe our reality—it helps construct it.

So, it begs the question: Can we embody the same quiet strength and persistence as a Finnish speaker without the concept of sisu? Can we truly celebrate human connection as deeply without a word like ubuntu to guide our worldview? And would we even begin to look for beauty in brokenness without the lens of wabi-sabi?

Each of these words gives us access to something deeper—something we may have felt but didn’t yet have the language to hold. Once named, it becomes real, not just individually but collectively.

The Research Behind the Words

Studies on how language affects perception reveal a fascinating interplay between words, thoughts, and actions. The way we speak—to others and to ourselves—shapes how we feel, how we behave, and even how our bodies respond to the world around us. Here's some of what research shows:

1. Emotion Labeling Reduces Emotional Reactivity

Psychological research shows that simply naming an emotion—like saying “I feel anxious”—can help reduce its intensity. This process, known as affect labeling, has been shown in brain imaging studies to decrease activity in the amygdala (the brain’s emotion center) and increase activation in the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for reasoning and self-regulation.In other words, putting feelings into words gives us just enough space to gain perspective and manage our emotions more effectively.

2. Self-Talk Shapes Mindset, Behavior, and Even Physiology

Our internal dialogue, especially in moments of stress, doubt, or challenge, shapes more than just our mood. It forms the stories we believe about who we are and what we’re capable of. Over time, these internal narratives influence how we make decisions, take risks, and recover from setbacks.

When self-talk is supportive and solution-focused—like “I can figure this out” or “I’ve faced hard things before”—it fosters resilience, curiosity, and action. But when that inner voice turns critical—“I’m not good at this,” “I’ll probably fail”—it tends to trigger self-doubt, avoidance, and eroding confidence.

And the effects go deeper than mindset alone. Our language doesn’t just change how we feel—it can change how our bodies respond.

In one study, researchers Alia Crum and Ellen Langer worked with hotel housekeepers—women who spent their days vacuuming, scrubbing, and lifting, yet didn’t believe they were getting any real exercise. One group was simply told the truth: that their daily work actually met the recommended guidelines for physical activity. That was it—no change in behavior, only a shift in perspective. Four weeks later, those who had been told their work "counted" as exercise showed measurable improvements in weight, blood pressure, and body composition. Their bodies responded to a new belief, fueled by nothing more than a reframed narrative.

A similar shift appeared in another study, this time in the context of acute stress. Participants were asked to perform high-pressure tasks—public speaking and math problems in front of evaluators. Before beginning, some were guided to reinterpret their nerves as excitement. That pounding heart? It wasn’t fear—it was energy. That flutter in the stomach? A sign they were ready to rise to the occasion. Those who received this reframe not only performed better but also showed healthier physiological patterns—more efficient heart function and a reduced stress response.

These findings point to something powerful: when we change how we talk about an experience, we don’t just shift our mindset—we recode the way our brain and body engage with the world. Self-talk is more than a pep talk. It’s a form of internal leadership.

3. Identity-Based Language Reinforces Change

The way we talk about ourselves has a powerful impact on how we show up. Using identity-based language—such as “I am someone who prioritizes my health”—creates stronger behavioral alignment than saying “I’m trying to eat better.” The difference? One frames change as a core part of who we are; the other keeps it at a distance.

In one study, researchers found that people were more likely to vote when they were asked to think of themselves as “voters” rather than simply being asked “to vote.” That subtle linguistic shift—from describing an action to invoking identity—led to significantly higher follow-through.

When we adopt words that align with who we want to be (“I’m a person who follows through”), we reinforce that identity—and our actions tend to follow.

Rewiring Your Mindset, One Word at a Time

If language can shape perception—and even emotion itself—then the words we use daily, especially in our inner dialogue, matter more than we think. Our self-talk isn’t just commentary; it’s construction. Every phrase reinforces a mindset, a belief, a story we tell ourselves about who we are and what’s possible.

The good news? We can choose that language intentionally. We can shape our inner landscape the same way we’d shape a conversation with someone we care about—thoughtfully, patiently, with presence.

Here are a few ways to start:

1. Choose Empowering Words

Replace limiting language like “I can’t” or “I’m not good at this” with alternatives that leave room for growth:→ “I’m learning how to handle this.”→ “This is tough, but I’m figuring it out.”

2. Reframe Challenges

The way we label a situation determines how we meet it.→ Instead of “This is overwhelming,” try “This is stretching me—maybe there’s something here to learn.”

3. Adopt Identity-Based Statements

Language shapes identity, and identity drives behavior.→ “I’m someone who keeps showing up,” goes further than “I’m trying to be consistent.”

4. Name and Redirect Emotions

Just like Schadenfreude allows us to hold a complex emotion with clarity, naming your own feelings can reduce their intensity and create space for choice.→ “I feel anxious... and I can take this one step at a time.”

5. Speak in the Present Tense

When affirming your values or goals, use the present tense to embody them more fully:→ “I am capable,” rather than “I hope I’ll get there.”

6. Use Metaphor and Imagery

Visual language makes ideas stick.→ “I’m building muscle for this,” or “I’m planting seeds that haven’t bloomed yet.”

7. Practice Gratitude and Acknowledgment

Notice small wins and name them with language that reinforces agency:→ “I navigated that well,” instead of “I got lucky.”

8. Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary

Another way to reshape your mindset is by simply introducing more words into your emotional and descriptive vocabulary. The more precisely we can name what we’re feeling or experiencing, the more clearly we can understand and work with it.

Reading widely, learning new languages, and staying curious about how other cultures express emotion can all broaden this inner lexicon. Words like sisu, ubuntu, or wabi-sabi don’t just add richness to our language—they give us new ways of seeing the world, and ourselves within it.

Reconstructing our reality

Language is more than just a way to describe what we feel—it’s a way to shape it. The words we choose, especially in our inner dialogue, quietly build the lens through which we see ourselves and the world. Every time we choose our words more consciously—whether we’re naming an emotion, reframing a challenge, or describing ourselves—we shape not just how we think, but how we feel, act, and connect.

Whether it's finding quiet strength in sisu, honoring connection through ubuntu, lingering in the joy of sobremesa, or embracing the imperfection of wabi-sabi, these words remind us that meaning lives in language—and in the spaces it opens within us. By speaking to ourselves with clarity, intention, and compassion, we don’t just shift our mindset—we expand what’s possible. So next time you feel stuck, uncertain, or overwhelmed, pause and ask: What story am I telling myself right now? And is there a better word for it?

Sources

Barrett, L. F. (2017).How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain

Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007).Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x

Torre, J. B., Lieberman, M. D., & Weber, J. (2018).The neural basis of affect labeling: A meta-analysis of neuroimaging studies. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 13(8), 801–810.https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsy055

Kircanski, K., Lieberman, M. D., & Craske, M. G. (2012).Feelings into words: Contributions of language to exposure therapy. Psychological Science, 23(10), 1086–1091.https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612443830

Meichenbaum, D. (1977).Cognitive Behavior Modification: An Integrative Approach

Bandura, A. (1997).Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control

Hardy, J. (2006).Speaking clearly: A critical review of the self-talk literature. Psychology of Sport and Exercise

Crum, A. J., & Langer, E. J. (2007).Mind-set matters: Exercise and the placebo effect. Psychological Science

Jamieson, J. P., Nock, M. K., & Mendes, W. B. (2012).Changing the conceptualization of stress in social anxiety disorder: Affective and physiological consequences. Clinical Psychological Science